Is there a word that means more than overwhelmed?

If so it would perfectly describe me right now. School starts a week from today and I'm in full crazy pants mode. Working my ass off to get "everything" ready before I have students. I say "everything" because there is no way any human being on the face of the earth could get EVERYTHING done before kids come. It's just not possible. You can get enough done. Enough to survive and figure out the rest. And the rest lasts forever. You are never, ever DONE. So yeah. I'm doing what I do every year. Freaking out while trying to remind myself that it's okay to start a little unprepared. No one will die.

I am also feeling slightly stressed out by wedding planning. I know we JUST got engaged and aren't getting married for a year and there's no rush. But we found a wedding venue we reeeeally like and before we can book it we have to make sure we can afford it. And before we make sure we can afford it we have to know how much we're going to spend on other things. And we have to call people and research and email to figure out how much things cost. So yeah. I'm trying to do too much. But on the bright side we have thought of many ways to save money including being our own DJ, ordering flowers at wholesale and doing the arrangements ourselves, getting a small cake for cutting and a sheet cake for serving (possibly from my friends aunt), and finding an inexpensive photographer (possibly from my friends church). So we're making progress. It's just hard to do at the same time you are getting a classroom ready in a new school, new grade, and new town!

And unfortunately I still can't seem to shake this anxiety. The past couple of days I've been plagued by scary, sad, and worrisome thoughts. I've been working really hard to fight them off. Perhaps too hard and that's why they won't go away. I was so bothered today I called Kim and left a message asking for an appointment and telling her I was considering going back on Lexapro. I've calmed down a bit since then and thought more. I think I jumped the gun on the whole gimme the drugs. I though about how I haven't blogged or exercised in awhile. Both things that help me be less anxious. I've also got a lot going on right now which can cause anxiety. I guess it's understandable. I had a helpful reminder today from a website my mom emailed me that anxiety plays tricks with your mind. These worries are just thoughts. They aren't going to happen. It doesn't mean there's more wrong with you or you're never going to get better or you're not the same person. Which are all things I've been thinking. I guess I just need a reality check/wake-up call every now and then. I'm feeling better now than I have all day. I'm getting my blog on, having a beer, and relaxing with my amazing fiance. Letting the stress and the worry go right now. Something I need to do more often!