Don't Be A Negative Nancy

I'm off school today. We had parent teacher conferences the past couple of days so we get Friday off! Unfortunately Brian still has to go in, and he's super busy right now so who knows when he'll be home. Over the past few days I've been feeling a little negative. Recently I've been doing a better job of feeling like myself, but since maybe Monday I've been feeling some of those negative thoughts creep back in. Wondering if I'm going to continue getting better. Wondering if I'm going to need a higher dose of Lexapro to get better. Being bummed that I'm on Lexapro at all. Fearing some of those scary side affects of the drugs again. I know that I need to try my hardest to push those negative thoughts away and focus on the positive, but they seem to keep creeping back in. I'm sure that it's because I've been having trouble sleeping and the stress of parent teacher conference week. I know that not every day is going to be as awesome and easy as they have been. And having one day where I don't feel 100% is no reason to let myself get out of control ruminating with negative thoughts. I started reading a book I borrowed from Kim called The Depression Cure. It outlines 6 lifestyle practices to help fight depression without medication. It can also help people with anxiety. They are: taking omega-3 fatty acid supplements (which I was doing but kinda stopped), anti rumination strategies (working on it), exercise (doing, but not consistently), light exposure (not on the regular), social support (doing good there), and sleep hygiene (been a struggle lately, but I'm working on it).   So far I've learned I need to work on getting all of these things going. The thought behind it is that people in the past and in present day primitive cultures didn't and don't suffer from depression. Their lifestyle allowed for all 6 of these elements which made them happier people. The pressures of our lives now don't really allow for these things to happen on a regular basis and that's why people get depressed. It makes sense, and it couldn't hurt to try it. So I'm reading the book and making more of an effort. I go to the Dr. Monday and we're going to talk about the Lexapro. I'm sure I'm going to continue using it at least until May. I'm going to make sure I tell her about how I've felt the past few days. That way if I do need to up my dosage she knows about it. Being home alone today is also making me feel a little wha-wha. Like worried that my negative thoughts are going to creep up and bother me all day. I know I have the power to make that not happen. So I'm trying to decide on a plan to keep them away. Anti rumination strategies right? I think I'm going to relax a bit longer, maybe watch Glee, and then spend the rest of the day doing something nice for Brian. The place is a mess and needs to be cleaned. I could go to the store and pick up some stuff to make him a nice dinner. He's working really hard right now and I know that he is stressed about getting things done in time. It would make me feel good to do something nice for him and help me keep my mind of of ruminating on negative thoughts. So that's my plan today. Keep busy doing stuff around the house. Reminding myself that I am a possibilitarian and I need to see the possibilities because they are always there.