100th Post

Helloooooo....It's been awhile. I've been purposely avoiding doing this post for several  one weeks (it feels like more than a week) now. Since it's my 100th I felt it really deserved to be something profound or totally awesome or super interesting . And as of late I haven't had any thing profound, totally awesome, or super interesting to post about. Life has just been kind of uneventful. Not bad uneventful. Just content and comfortable. Which when I think about it, is kind of profound,  awesome, and interesting. I started this blog way back in February as a form of self care. I was going through a rough patch and thought it was something that might help. An outlet. And here we are 10 months later and things are soooo much better. Getting here had it's ups and downs, but I'm finally in a place where I feel like I have control of my anxiety. Sure I'm medicated (:p) but I'm much more accepting of that fact now. Before it was something that I was really not okay with. My workplace is much healthier than the one I was in and I'm happier because of it. I've made some changes in my lifestyle to improve my personal health. I ran my first 5k this month and I've lost almost 20 pounds since June! Things with Brian are fantastic, as always, and I'm so grateful for the support he has given me while I've dealt with everything.

I have confidence now that I am capable of handling my anxiety, and life challenges in general. Sure things haven't been easy and there were times I wasn't sure if I would ever feel like myself again. But here I am, dealing and doing pretty well.

Sickness Sucks

Blehhhhhhhhhhh... That's how I feel right now. I'm sick. Thought I could avoid all those nasty little germs from my runny-nosed 3rd graders with a flu shot and frequent hand-washing, but alas, no. I think it may be due to the weakening of my immune system courtesy of my 5k last weekend. Yes, I ran my 5k. RAN the whole time. Finished in 45 minutes and some-odd seconds. Not as fast as I would have liked, but dang if that path in Shawnee Mission Park isn't hilly! Here's a "lovely" pic of me getting my run on.

I started feeling sick the day after my run. I think it might of been because it was really freakin' cold and windy before we started running. Then I got hot while I was running. Then cold again while waiting for Brian to finish. But who knows. Trudged through work yesterday as I did not have any sub plans ready and cannot pop into school when I'm sick like I did last year. I got stuff together for a sub and stayed home today. Sure glad I did because I feel like ass. Gonna have to go back tomorrow though. Too much to do!

When you love someone...

When you love someone their little quirks and flaws are cute and endearing. When you love someone small mistakes they make are quickly (sometimes not so quickly) forgiven. When you love someone you are willing to accept them for all of the good and the bad. Until they leave an ink pen in their pocket that you don't discover until you take clothes out of the dryer and it ruins your favorite gray tank top, purple tank top, and work pants. I'm going shopping.

Hello, it's been awhile...

Life's been stoopid busy lately so I haven't been blogging much. That and I haven't thought of anything super interesting to post.

School has been super hectic lately. Between grade cards, conferences, and other random activities I haven't had much time to be creative with my classroom. Tomorrow is our Halloween parade and party and I've been baking away making cake pops for the kiddos. This time I did eyeballs! White cake, white icing, white chocolate, gummy savers for the iris and mini M&Ms for the pupils. Here's a pic.

I will be donning my owl costume for the festivities tomorrow. I got to try it out last night for Ryan and Michelle's Halloween party. Got lots of complements and it was extremely comfy!

Brian was Mad Max. Oh! And I got a a hair cut.

My race is coming up in a couple of weeks and hopefully I will be ready! My first two runs on Monday and Wednesday this week were kinda hard, and I have yet to get motivated to run today. Tomorrow I do my first 30 minute run. I'm hoping to do 3 miles. On a related note, I haven't been losing much weight lately. I've still been doing LiveStrong, but there have been days I've gone over on my calories. I've been staying right around the same weight for about 3 weeks now so I decided to reduce my daily calorie allowance by about 200. But of course with it being Halloween, I've been eating lots of junk lately. Gotta get back on track!

I've also been really itching to do some shopping lately! I'm in the market for some cute sweater dresses for work. I'd like one in gray and maybe brown or green. Target and Old Navy have some cute ones right now. I'm also looking to get a head band ear warmer for when I run and some gloves. There's been a few days where it's been chilly but not too bad. It's going to be REALLY cold on race day though! However, I probably should not spend much since Christmas is coming up and I need to start thinking about buying presents.

Wedding planning hasn't gotten really any further lately. I've been pinning stuff on my Pinterest and thinking more about flowers, bridesmaid dresses, tuxes, decorations, save the dates, invitations, hotels, bar service, cakes...You name it; it's on my mind. I think the next thing to do will be save the dates to send out in January. Once I get our engagement pictures back from Kaleigh I can get started on those.

Well I better get back to work on laundry so I can go for a run soon. Brian had to go into work today so I did the grocery shopping by myself. In between that, laundry, and cake pops I've been watching Halloween and Halloween H2O on the X-Box. Bout time I got busy!

Week of accomplishments and fall fun.

Well it's Sunday night and tomorrow is the start of a new week, and I have to say I'm mighty pleased with myself. I had a pretty productive work week and a fun weekend. All in all no complaints.

We only had students Monday-Thursday this week and although my class is chatty and seems to really struggle remembering to raise their hands when they need something instead of chasing me around the room, it was a pretty productive week. We managed to stay mostly on schedule and did alright with everything I planned for the week. On Friday I worked on grade cards and a few other odds and ends. Surprisingly, grade cards weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be. Now that I have one 9 weeks under my belt I don't think I'll be so intimidated by a new grading system next time around. I was also able to finish guided reading plans for next week, prep some new AR (Accelerated Reader) things to implement, and fill out progress sheets for conferences. Unfortunately I did not get my student improvement plans done for a few of my kiddos, but I've got some down time during conferences this week I can work on those.

Friday after work I went to my parents house to run to David's Bridal with my mom to pick up my wedding dress! Everything was in except for the veil so we'll go get that some other time. Right now it's hanging in my parent's closet until I got back for a fitting in February. I tried on a 14 in the store which was quite snug so they ordered me a 16. I'm planning on continuing to lose weight so it's possible the 16 could become too big. The plan is to go back in February to see how it fits and order a smaller one if necessary. I'm thinking since they can take it in two dress sizes with alterations it should be fine. That would bring it down to a 12, and their dresses run small, so that should be about right.

Saturday Brian and I drove down to Baldwin for the Maple Leaf Festival. It was very crowded but lots of fun. We looked at crafts and had some lunch then my parents and Chris, Jess, and Cam showed up. We walked around a bit more and laughed at Cameron and his, "I see tractor. I see baby. I see cars. I see dog. Tractor night night. Baby night night. Car night night. Dog night night." He's so silly! Then Brian and I headed home. We had dinner and watched a movie. We had picked up the Tawny dessert wine from Somerset Ridge to try. We hoped it would be as good as the Citron. Brian liked it, but I did not. It tasted very strongly of alcohol and reminded me of whiskey. Not a fan. So he drank that and I had some left over margarita stuff we had.

Oh and I almost forgot! Friday was a very exciting day because baby Saydee was born! One of my best friends Katie and her husband Louie welcomed their first born on Friday afternoon. I've only seen pictures so far but she's super adorable. I can't wait to go down to Hutch and visit.

And another thing I forgot to mention. On Saturday morning Brian and I went for our runs. I ran 2 1/3 miles in 25 minutes without stopping! A first and major accomplishment for me! I have gone from hating running and barely being able to do a minute without huffing and puffing to doing 25 minutes without stopping. Our race is November 12th and I still have 3 weeks of training to do, but I think I will be able to do a 5k in 30 minutes. Then hopefully onto longer races.

Today we didn't do a whole lot. We got up and had breakfast and I started climbing Laundry Mountain. Between our everyday clothes, Brian's work out clothes, and my work out clothes we go through a lot in one week. I did 5 loads of laundry today! Ridiculous! We went to the grocery store and ran a couple of errands. We came home and lazed around for a little bit. I took a brief nap while watching SNL on Hulu. Then we decided to get out of the house again. It was Give Away day at the library books sale so we checked that out. I found a few good teacher books and Brian picked up a couple of cook books. I had been wanting to go to the pumpkin patch for awhile so we headed out there next. We got a couple of good sized pumpkins for carving and Brian got some cute little pumpkins and a gourd for his office.

Now we're home and Brian's playing WOW and I'm watching Oliver's Twist on Netflix. A nice way to end a lovely weekend.

And as I promised here is a picture of me in my finished owl costume as well as a couple of my new nail polish.

I think it looks pretty good! I wish you could see the owl face better. It's really cute!

 

 

These pictures really don't do the polish justice. This a really pretty gray called Cockatoo's Mystery.

This is a gorgeous black with gold, green, and red sparkles. It's called Owl's Night.

Guess whooo's got a cute Halloween costume??

I finished my costume! And it looks sooo cute!

As you may remember I found this adorable owl costume here and immediately knew that's what I wanted to be for Halloween.

I started working on it last weekend when Brian and I were visiting his family. We stopped by Savers (a thrift store) and I picked up a few items to cut up and use for feathers. I found a dark brown pillow case, a dark gray, light brown, and tan-ish t-shirt, and some awesome off white scrap fabric with a leaf pattern. Brian, his mom, and sister helped me make cardboard templates for the feathers and cut them out. Brian's mom quilts so she had plenty of cutting boards and Olfa cutters for use to use.

Earlier this week Brian and I went to Hobby Lobby so I could get materials to make my mask, headband thingy. I decided that stiff kind of felt would make the best material and picked up sheets in light brown, orange, yellow, and dark blue. I printed out the make template and used it to piece together the owl face. I glued everything together with Aleen's fabric glue. I wasn't too sure about the stuff at first. It seemed like the parts of my mask weren't really sticking. But once I let it set over-night it worked fine. I attached the owl face to a stretchy brown headband.

Tonight I started working on attaching the feathers. I'm using a Gap t-shirt dress (I actually think it's Gap Body night gown) I bought at ATC last fall. I got one in dark and light gray and I don't wear the light gray one much so I figured it would be okay to use. I put an old paper bag inside the t-shirt to keep the layers from sticking to each other. I started at the bottom of the shirt and glued on a row of feathers at a time, overlapping to cover all the t-shirt. It went pretty quickly and wasn't too hard to do. The one thing I would do differently next time is use a wooden skewer to spread the glue on the feathers. I started out just squirting it from the bottle and it was hard to control the flow. I ended up using way more glue than I needed on the first few rows. By the time I got to the neck I was pretty much out of glue. I didn't want to go get more so I started scraping bottom with a skewer and it was just enough to finish.

I'm going to let it dry over-night and hopefully everything will stick when I pick it up tomorrow. I plan to wear a black long sleeve shirt underneath the t-shirt dress, black leggings, and ballet flats. The one thing I'm a little worried about is putting the headband on. I don't want my owl face to pop off! I guess if it does I can always safety pin it.

I'll post a picture of how it looks tomorrow after it dries!

Halloween Costume

I found a super cute Halloween costume that I'm going to try to make for this year. It looks pretty simple so hopefully I don't mess it up too much. It's a child's costume that I found here, but this chick made it in grown up size here. I have a gray t-shirt dress that I bought at Arizona Trading Co. last year that I thought would be good to put the feathers on. Then I can just wear a black long sleeve under it with some black leggings and ballet flats. I'm going to attach the mask to a headband and wear it on my head like the girl at humble ablog. My future mother in law quilts so she said I could look through her scrap fabric for feather material. Hopefully she has some cool colors. I'm going to use fabric glue rather than sewing. I don't have a machine and I'm not a good enough at hand stitching to do it that way. It would take forever!

And I found some absolutely beautiful fall nail polish that I would like to wear with it. I saw it at Walgreen's last week but talked myself out of buying it because I don't paint my nails very often, but now I want it! I checked 3 stores last night and no one had it! It's a limited edition so I may have to resort to online purchase. We're going to KC today so maybe a Walgreen's there will have it. It's called Owl's Night and it's part of the L'Oreal Project Runway collection. I love how it has the specks of different colored sparkles that reflect in the light. And the dark, rich color is perfect for fall. I hope I can find it!

Best Weekend Ev-ah!

Oh my goodness I can't remember the last time I had so many enjoyable experiences in one weekend. It really was perfect. And my loving fiance had doubts that I could do it all. Pshhh! I showed him! In a loving point proving sort of way.

It all started with Kaleigh's arrival on Friday night. She got in and we went OUT! The three of us first headed to Louise's (where I hadn't been in YEARS!). Kaleigh and I got schooners of Boulevard and enjoyed sitting and laughing in the way more comfortable booths than Louise's had when we were in college! Next we headed to Free State where it was already last call so we used the bathroom and decided to try Quinton's. $3 cover? No thank you. We ended the night at Henry's Upstairs with some sangria. It was heavenly. Rolled in at about 1:30 with plans to get up at 6:00 to take engagement pictures! Yikes! Not in college anymore!

Up and at 'em Saturday morning and got gussied. We started at Alvamar for some pictures on the bench where we first chatted. Sigh....Then headed downtown. We did pictures at The Carnegie Building, Mass Street, and bridge by the train depot. They look AMAZING! Can't wait to see them after Kaleigh does some editing. We finished just in time to run home, grab a few things, and jump in the car to head to David's Bridal in Topeka.

We met my mom, Mara, Jessica (my brother's wife), Linda (Brian's mom), and Kristen (Brian's sister) and I started trying on dresses. The first dress I put on was one I fell in love with when I found it on the Knot. It was beautiful but not really me. The second dress was one Kaleigh picked out and was also very beautiful, but too much for our outdoor wedding. The third dress had a single strap and was just weird and ill fitting. The fourth dress was one I liked, but didn't have any strong feelings about. Until I put it on. Just before I had been saying to Kaleigh, "I don't know how I will know! How do you know?" She reassured me, "Oh you'll know. The heavens will open up and you'll know." As I walked out of the dressing room, the song we are playing for our first dance (Michale Buble: Everything) came on. The heavens opened up and I knew. I started to tear up, Kaleigh teared up, my mom teared up. I had found my dress! It is perfect. I'm not going to put a picture or describe because I want Brian to be surprised,  and I think sometimes he reads this. But I assure you, it is perfect.


After dresses Kaleigh and I went to my oldest friend Liz's sister's wedding. It was beautiful and I'm going to steal her program idea. They are super cute! After the wedding Kaleigh and I headed back to Lawrence. We picked up Brian and went down town to grab a quick dinner. We brought it back home and watched Bridesmaids. Then Mara and Chad came over. After the movie Mara, Kaleigh and I went downtown again. We went back to Henry's (the Sandbar's line was waaaay long) and then to The Casbah for some sweet potato fries. In at 1:30 again! Who am I???

On Sunday morning Brian, Kaleigh and I went to campus to take more engagement photos. They also turned out amazing! We went to the fountain, Potter Lake, the Campanile, and a really cute red garage with love spray painted on it in black. After we went out to lunch at Zen Zero then Kaleigh headed home. :(

It was a blast. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend. And we got everything done! I wouldn't mind doing a Kaleigh only trip again. I sure did miss Andrew, Reygan, and Jack but this was fun too! Bachelorette party's next!

You better run, better run...

So I'm not a runner. Never have been. I hated doing the mile in elementary school. I was always last to finish and tired and embarrassed by the end. As an adult it has never been my exercise method of choice. My fiance, however, is a runner. He wasn't always, but for the past 4 or 5 years he's gotten into it. He's done a few races; 5ks, 10ks, a half marathon. Last fall he ran the Pilgrim Pacer in KC (a half marathon) and he's planning on doing it again in November. And guess who's running with him. Well not WITH him. I'm no where near doing a half marathon. I'll be doing the 5k. I started training for it at the beginning of September. I'm on week 4 I believe. I'm doing the Couch to 5K program. I tried it once before with my friend April, but we didn't last very long. This week I've been running for 5 minutes straight! Something I've never done. And today a really didn't want to run and considered putting it off until tomorrow, but I got off my lazy but and went out and did it. I feel pretty good about it now. I'm not to the point yet where I'm ENJOYING running, but I am to the point where I can do it without dying. Between the running, watching my calories, occasional biking and Zumba I'm nearly down 15 pounds. My overall goal is to be to my driver's license weight, which is a total lie. I've got about  50 pounds left to go. It's not going to be easy and it sure is going to take awhile, but I'm pretty sure I can do it. And bonus, I'll definitely be there for our wedding. Let's just hope that I can keep it that way after we get married and have kids. It's really not that hard to do, but it is work. You can't not think about it. And I still eat what I want most of the time. I just don't eat as much or if I've already hit my calories for the day I know I won't be able to have ice cream and I'll have to plan to eat less calories tomorrow so I can. My calories are going to continue dropping as I lose more pounds which will take some getting used to. But it's so gradual you don't really notice. As far as the exercise goes I know I'll have to step that up here pretty soon if I want to continue to keep losing. But overall I feel pretty good about my progress. And the weight I have lost keeps me really motivated to continue. According to what I've worked out on the calculator I should be down to my goal weight in 13 months-faster if I work harder. So by our wedding date (Sept. 15, 2012) I should be there!

Things I Am Enjoying Right Now

1.  Glee!!!

Last night was the season premier and it's got me so excited for what the rest of the season will hold! Will and Emma are together, Finn and Rachel are together, Quinn's a bad girl with a bad dye job. Blaine's transferred to McKinley, Sue's out to destroy the arts, Sam's gone, Lauren's gone, Santana's been kicked out of New Directions, Kurt and Rachel are determined to be Broadway bound....so exciting!

2. New Girl

This is the new show on Fox with Zooey Deschanel and it's super cute! I've watched the first episode twice already. I love Zooey and her character is super awesome. Brian said that if they distilled Sarah (me) down into a TV show this would be it. She's goofy, she loves Dirty Dancing, and makes up songs all the time. I'm a fan.

3. Bridesmaids

It came out on DVD yesterday and I totally bought it today when I was at the store picking up stuff for chili and cinnamon rolls. Had a yummy dinner and  now am cozy on the couch with my blankie and hoodie. Window's open enjoying some Bridesmaids! Gonna watch it next weekend with Kaleigh too when she comes out!

4. Cider (and all other things fall including Halloween stuff)

Bought some cider a couple of weeks ago at the store and if it weren't for the calories I'd drink it all day every day. It's the perfect fall beverage. I'm also really enjoying all of the Halloween/fall decor that is out in stores right now. I can't wait to go to the pumpkin patch!

5. 96.5 The Buzz

One of the perks to my morning commute is that I get to listen to ABFMB on the radio every morning! It's so entertaining. Wednesday morning is War of the Roses and even though it makes me super uncomfortable to listen to I can't stop! I love the drama!

6. Lady Gaga: You and I

I LOVE this song! I crank it every time it's on the radio. It's so catchy. I have really liked all of Gaga's songs, but this one is very different from her others. It has kind of an Elton John, Billy Joel, Carol King singer/songwriter vibe.

7.  Livestrong.com

I've been using Livestrong for awhile now to track my calories. I'm down 12 pounds since the summer! My goal is to get down to my driver's license weight which is a total lie. I've started training for a 5 k in November. I'm using the Couch Potato to 5 K program and I'm on week 3. Brian and I go running every Monday, Wednesday, Sunday. I didn't go tonight because I got home from work late, but I'm going to run tomorrow to make up for it. Anyway I really like using livestrong to track my calories. It's really user friendly and helps me stay on track and free! I recommend it to anyone who is trying to lose weight or just be more aware of what they are eating.

I Think I Over-Did It.

Ugh. I am completely miserable San Diego. Although I had a great time this weekend visiting Katie in Hutch and going to the fair with Jordy and Brian I definitely think I could have made some better choices when it came to eating. If not just to better stick to my diet, but to keep me from feeling so crappy right now! It all started with dinner at Chipotle on Friday before we left town and then it was downhill from there. We stopped to get gas before getting on the turnpike. I got a 3 Musketeers. A king size. I ate it before we got to Topeka. Then for breakfast Saturday we went to the Carriage Crossing in Yoder. I have always wanted to go and I have to say it was well worth it. Brian and I split one of their famous giant cinnamon rolls and holy hell was it amazing! Then he ordered the biscuits and gravy and I ordered scrambled eggs with hashbrowns, bacon and toast. We kind of shared and ate off each other's plates. I was so full when we were done but I'd do it again. After breakfast we headed to Katie and Louie's house for the non-baby shower, baby shower. They got barbeque catered in from Hog Wild in Hutch. I had a brisket sandwich, potato salad, coleslaw and baked beans. Then it was time for the fair. I'd been planning all month what I was going to eat at the fair and I sure did have almost everything on my list. That's just what you do at the fair. You walk around, check out the butter sculpture, look at the weirdos, and gorge yourself on delicious, fried, greasy and sugary concoctions. I started my fair smorgasbord with a Pronto Pup with Granie's mustard-a must have at the Kansas State Fair. Next I happily found the booth missing from my fair feast last year, stuffed cucumbers! They use this caulking gun like tool to hollow out a whole cuke and then fill it with your choice of stuffing. I opted for ranch dressing. So good! After my cucumber I thought about getting another veggie and going for the roasted corn, but I knew there were other things I would want and I could get roasted corn at home so I passed. By this time I was getting kind of thirsty so I picked up a lemonade and we checked out some of the vendors, crafts, and picked up a jar of honey for Katie (too prego for a second trip to the fair). At around dinner time we decided to hit up the Kansas beer garden where you can get locally made beers and wines. I had a really delicious ale from the Tallgrass brewery in Manhattan. After my headache of beer I was startin' to get the munchies again and I knew I wanted meat! We had seen some people earlier that had some really good looking gyros. We found that stand and Jordy, Brian and I all got a lamb gyro with lettuce, tomato, onion, cucumber and taziki sauce. And of course I couldn't leave the fair without having dessert. A caramel apple sundae. Instead of serving it on a stick they cut the apple up and drizzle it with caramel and sprinkle peanuts. You eat it with a fork. Much easier than the stick and just as delicious. And no trip to the Kansas State Fair would be complete without a ride down the slide. By this time I had $2.00 left of the $60 I took out for fair food (don't judge, Brian ate on that money too) just enough for one trip down the slide. Jordy rode with me. It was bliss.

So as if I didn't make enough bad food decisions  yesterday we had McDonald's for breakfast this morning (two breakfast burritos, hashbrowns and an orange juice) and Blind Tiger for lunch (chicken strips and fries).

I feel like I need to have my stomach pumped and not eat for 3 days. So bad. For the scales and for my tummy. I plan to spend the rest of the day lying on the couch recuperating and regretting. But I'll probably do it again next year. :P

Drugs are 'spensive.

I'm not happy about my new health insurance. But at least I have heath insurance, right? I really shouldn't be complaining. But I'm going to anyway.

So with my new insurance I had to have prior authorization to get my lexapro. Which took about 5 days. Just long enough to require me to buy a few pills at cost to get by. $32.00 and several phone calls later my prior authorization is approved and I can go get my pills from the pharmacy. I go to the pharmacy after work only to be told it will be a $99 copay to get my pills. "What??" my voice says. "What the fucking hell?!?!" my brain says. Turns out I have a $200 deductible and $91 of what I pay for my lexapro will go toward that. Once it is met I still have to pay $51 for a months supply of my pills. Super frustrating.

I felt like I jumped through all these hoops the past few days just to get my freakin' refill only to find out it's going to cost an arm and a leg. I know it could be worse. It could be a lot more expensive. And it could be for a medication I needed for some really awful disease. It's not that bad. But it's just that it's bringing  back all those frustrations about being on lexapro in the first place. I start thinking about how if I didn't need the medicine I wouldn't be dealing with all this insurance crap right now. And then I get pissed of that I can't be anxiety free without a pill. So grrrrr.

But on the bright side tomorrow will be 365 days until I am Mrs. Brian Cordill. :o)

I keep getting balls thrown at me...

Not like that. Metaphorical balls. Balls to juggle. Things at work are picking up quickly. I started juggling 5 and now in these past few days I've been tossed 6, then, 7, then 8. I feel like today alone I got 3 more. I can't/don't want to drop any! I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure to do a good job. I know most of it is pressure I'm putting on myself, but some of it is the feeling I get from this school district. Things are different here. They have a reputation. There are expectations; spoke and unspoken. I gotta be on top of my game.

So I'm just feeling overwhelmed. I don't want to feel like I'm chasing my tail all year long. I talked to Kaleigh she said cut myself some slack. It's only the 4th week of school. I also talked to my friend Lexi at work. She is feeling the same way and she's been there for 4 years. Good to know I'm not the only one.

I started my training for my 5k Monday. It was hard. Running again tonight with Brian. Not looking forward to it. Well looking spending time with Brian, but not running. Not feeling terribly energized. But gotta stay motivated! I lost 3 pounds since last week meeting my 10 pound goal and then some. Got the Zumba game for the Kinect for my prize. It's fun! I'm going to set up a regular schedule to do it during the week.

Well Brian just got home. I better go change. Then dinner and more school work! Joy...

Lucky Girl

I am such a lucky girl. Enjoying my fabulous birthday weekend. My owl cake pops turned out awesome and the kids loved them. Here's a picture. 

Last night Brian took me out to Pachamama's for dinner and it was AMAZING! We had lamb meatballs to start with this super delicious sheep's milk fondue sauce and a wild berry chutney. For dinner I had a stuffed tomato with zucchini and goat cheese. It was on top of a bed of fettuccine that had a pesto and artichoke sauce. Brian had adobo roasted pork shoulder that was super good. Then for dessert we shared a warm chocolate gianduja bread pudding with strawberry coulis and amaretto-chocolate ice cream. My God it was so good. 

Here's us in the car on the way to dinner. 

 

Then we came home to do a homemade flight of Boulevard while we watched Date Night. I had a glass of wine with dinner and don't drink too much now a days so I had trouble finishing. I did all but the last two. I was pretty tipsy by 9:30. 

Then today we got up and went to the farmers market. We were going to go the Halloween store that is in the old Borders, but they're not open yet. We headed over to Hurst Jewelers to look at wedding bands. I found one I really like, but it cost more than what we are looking at spending. We found some good bands for Brian that were good prices. We're going to keep looking around to see if we can't find something cheaper for me. But I did get my ring cleaned while we were there. I had no idea it was so dirty! It's so sparkly now! 

We went to Tres Mexicanos for lunch and I had tacos al pastor. So yummy! 

On our way home we saw a sign in front of the fairgrounds for a Coleman/Jocks Nitch sale. We went in to look around and got some great deals. Brian got a new rain jacket and camp knife for like $30 and I got a pair of $80 Nikes for $40 and a $60 sleeping bag for $30.

Now we're at home waiting on my family to get in town. We're going to Buffalo Bob's for dinner and hanging out. And every time I remember tomorrow is Sunday and we have Monday off I get super excited. I love Labor Day/Birthday Weekend!

Birthday Week! :D

Friday is my birthday! I'll be 27. Only 3 years to 30 now! Yikes! I'm excited because my birthday falls on labor day weekend this year so I have 3 whole days to celebrate. I don't know what we're doing yet on my actual birthday. I told Brian to surprise me so we'll see. Saturday or Sunday we'll be going out on the boat to enjoy what is hopefully the last of the warm weather. Then Saturday evening my family will be coming out to Lawrence to go out to dinner.

I was at Target today and decided what I want for my present. A Target shopping spree. They have the cutest stuff out for fall. I saw dresses, cardigans and leggings oh my! Not to mention the cute purses and shoes. So if anybody wants to send me shopping at Target this year send those gift cards my way!

I was also looking into birthday treats today. Since I'll be working on my birthday I thought I would bring treats to school. I've done cake pops for my students a couple of  times and I was thinking of doing it again. I love owls and I have an owl theme in my classroom this year so I thought I might try my hand at that. I found this and it looks possible. A bit time consuming and challenging (and probably pricy to go by all the supplies) but I thought I might give it a shot. I'll post pictures when/if I finish them.

Not for those with a weak stomach.

Okay so let me preface this with a disclaimer. If you are grossed out by poop in any way do not read any further.


This is what happened. I came home from work and Brian was cooking dinner. I jumped in and started helping. While everything was cooking I had to pee. I go to the bathroom, lift the toilet lid only to be greeted by the biggest, nastiest turd I have ever seen in my life. I immediately blamed Brian. The conversation went a little like this.
Sarah: Briannnnn!!
Brian: What?!
Sarah: You left a nasty turd in the toilet!
Brian: No I didn't! I haven't pooped today.
Sarah: Well I didn't do it.
Brian: I don't know what to tell you.
Sarah: Who the hell shit in our toilet?!
Brian: I don't know! Maybe it was a maintenance man?
Sarah: A maintenance man? Well that's not okay.
Brian: What do you mean?
Sarah: I mean that's not okay. You can't just come into someone's house. Shit in their toilet and leave it. They didn't even use toilet paper.
Brian: Oh well.
Sarah: I'm tempted to call management.
Brian: You will sound crazy if you call management.

So here's what I want to know. Will I? Will I sound crazy? Am I right? That's so not okay! You can't just do that. Oh and it's bad. There are marks all over the inside of the bowl. Not cool.

Perfect Pants!

I'm excited! I found my pants! Years ago I bought a pair of the most perfect dress pants to wear for practicums for school. They really are perfect. They sit just right on my waist, no gapping in the back, not too tight in the hips, long, but not so long I'm walking on them in flats, a beautiful shade of charcoal gray. Perfect. Every dress pant I have tried on since just doesn't make the cut. They are my only pair of dress pants. Which was fine at my last job because we could wear jeans everyday if we wanted. But now jeans are only allowed 15 days of the school year. So I needed some more pants. I have plenty of dresses, but I can't wear dresses everyday. Yesterday I was at Old Navy (usually my go to store for everything) looking for dress pants and of course I was disappointed and found nothing. Weird fabric. Too low rise. Too narrow in the hips. So today I decided to google the brand of my perfect pants to see what I could find. Why I'd never done this before, I don't know. And guess what?! I found them! They're called Rafaella.  And wouldn't you know it, their facebook page says they are known for their Perfect Fitting Pant! Unfortunately you can't order from their website, but I did find a department store on the east coast that sells them! I ordered 2 pairs! Yay new pants!

On an unrelated note: Brian and I are going to meet with a photographer today about wedding photos. Her dad works with my dad and she does photography on the side. I guess it's her passion and she really wanted to go to some fancy photography school but it was too expensive. She's only going to charge us $300! We're going to look at her portfolio and see if she's any good! Wish us luck!

Ah the good ol' days...

I'm watching America's Next Top Model right now for the first time in probably 5 or 6 years. I used to watch it ALL THE TIME with my best friend/roommates in college. I'm delighted to find the show hasn't changed much. Cat fights, weird photo shoots, crazy ass Tyra. Makes me nostalgic for the days of lounging in the living room; me on the loveseat, Kaleigh on the couch. Katie, Mara, Adrienne, Andrew, Jordan streaming in and out all day. Us only changing positions to pee, answer the door when the delivery guy arrived and eat. It was a good life. Now Kaleigh's in Illinois with a husband, 2 kids, endless craft projects, a house to care for, and a job. I'm in Lawrence with a fiance to feed, an apartment to keep clean, a wedding to plan, and 18 kids to take care of. Busy lives we lead. I love life now and I know Kaleigh does too, but I know we both wouldn't mind a day or two of all day Top Model and take out.

Back to school!

Today was my first day with kids at my new school! It went pretty well. I still don't feel like I have a good understanding of the ins and outs, but that's to be expected and will come with time. It made for kind of a weird, "What do I do next?" feeling all day. My kids are pretty good. Chatty, but they seem eager to please. I know some of them are going to be a challenge academically, and possibly behaviorally, but I think it will be a good year. I have 18 in my class right now. Almost equal boys and girls. Only one didn't come today. My classroom is super nice and looks pretty good if I do say so myself! I keep meaning to take pictures, but I get so busy I always forget. I'll try to remember tomorrow.

The one thing that kinda sucks about my new job, aside from having to learn a new building, is the drive. It takes about 50 minutes to get from our apartment to my school. It's not bad in the morning. It gives me time to think and get prepared. But coming home is hard. It takes too long, and when we have things to do in the evening and dinner to cook it seems like we're eating late. I guess it's just a new routine I will have to get used to. Even now it's almost 7:30 and we are still waiting on dinner to cook. I guess I will have to start looking for more make ahead, quick, and slow cooker recipes. If you have any suggestions send em my way!

It's that time again!

School starts Tuesday.!.! I have periods and exclamation points because I'm not sure of the feelings behind that statement. I am exited. I love my new school and my 3rd grade team. I'm excited to meet my students and I LOVE school. But the end of summer is always bitter sweet. No more lazing, no more staying up late, no more sleeping in. Time for long days, short nights, and being busy, busy, busy. And I think this year might be the busiest of them all. My plan is to take it slow and ease in. It is my first year at a new school and a new grade. However. This school and district is sooo different from what I'm used to. In a good way! But I do think I'm going to be working harder here than I ever have before. Which I think will be a challenge but also very professionally satisfying.

In a health update I've been feeling really good the past few days. Brian and I went out to Clinton lake yesterday and kayaked. It was a lot of fun! The weather was gorgeous and the water felt wonderful. We camped out there last night too. My parents and my sister came out and we boated a little. Then Brian's folks came out and we met up at the campsite. It was the first time our families had met and I think it went really well! We made a brisket and a blueberry pie in the dutch oven. Our families brought sides and we had a nice little picnic. Then today I went out to the pool with my family. It was awesome because I got to spend time with my little Cam Bam! And through all of this I have had next to no anxiety and very few worrisome thoughts. I haven't been really experiencing the dizziness from the Lexapro like I did before. Maybe I won't get the side effects this time. That would be great. I think going back on the Lexapro was a good choice. I think it's just what I need right now. We'll see how I'm doing in a few months and try going off again.

Tomorrow is Back to School night. The kids will be coming in with all of their supplies. It's early to bed for me! I have til 4 tomorrow to get everything ready. Wish me luck!

Round 2

I'm starting Lexapro again today. :o/ Not really sure how I feel about it. On the one hand I'm looking forward to feeling good again. It's worked well for me before and I know it will again. On the other hand it's frustrating that I'm not able to do it without pills. But. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's not forever. It doesn't mean I'll be on pills the rest of my life or that I'll never get my anxiety under control enough to be drug free.

Last night was kind of the last straw as far as signs that I need meds goes. I called my friend Katie after my entry I put up last night. I was still feeling upset/unsettled/bothered by those scary thoughts. She is my go-to rational friend. We talked and she said a lot of things that make sense. Some things I had been thinking myself and that Kim had told me. I got more reassurance that my thoughts aren't abnormal. Everyone has them. But the obsessing over them isn't healthy, and I know that. After I got off the phone with Katie I felt better. I went to bed by myself (Brian was WOWing it up). I brought my laptop to watch some Glee and relax my mind before sleeping. And that's when things got worse. I don't know why but I started feeling really anxious and scared. I just kept feeling it building and building. I was starting to have more scary death thoughts to the point where I was afraid to go to sleep. I was feeling sooo tired, but I could not calm down. Brian came to bed and I lost it. Full blown, can't breath, hyperventilating anxiety attack. I had to take a clonazapam. I was really scared to. Brian had to get stern with me. I was afraid it would make me feel weird. Which is ridiculous because I already felt AWFUL. How could it get worse? I was finally able to calm down around midnight and sleep. Which really upset me because I knew it would make it harder to get up in the morning.

This morning I was still feeling upset and sad. I decided I would call my doctor's office and ask if they would need to see me for me to get more Lexapro. My nurse couldn't have been nicer. I cried when I was talking to her. I told her about what had been going on and she asked me if I thought I needed to go back to the Lexapro. I said I thought that would be best. And all she said was, "What pharmacy?" She said that she was sure I was stressed with school starting and a lot of other teachers were doing the same thing. She said it was going to be okay and it made me feel better.

The rest of the day wasn't bad. I kept busy doing stuff at work and meeting with my team. I went to cycling after work and that felt good. I did have some trouble with unwanted thoughts during class, but I was able to pep talk my self in the car and that helped. I'm going start taking my pills again before bed tonight. Hopefully they will kick these unwanted thoughts to the curb. I know the first 2 weeks are going to be rough. The side affects while it's building up in my system are uncomfortable. But it will be worth it if it works as well as it did last time. I'm feeling optimistic and knowing that any trouble I have is just temporary helping a lot.  

Keep Your Head Up

Trying to keep this in mind. Heard it on the radio today and it was a good message right when I needed it. I've been feeling a lot better today than I did yesterday. Not nearly as many moments of worry and anxiety. I had a little moment this morning but it passed quickly, and I did fine the rest of the day. Did really well when I got home. Then Brian and I went shopping at Kohls and I had a thought that really frustrated me. I was looking at the fall decor which always gets me excited, and I smelled this yummy fall candle. Then, and I don't know why, I thought about dying again. Just that one day all of this will be over and I won't have Brian or my family or any of the other things that bring me happiness right now. And I've always believed in heaven and a life after this one and God's kingdom and all that. And I know that I still believe in that. So why does it make me so sad and scared when that thought pops in my head? I'm sure it's a normal thing to be sad about. But most people aren't plagued by thinking about it. Maybe it ties back to all of the deaths in my family when I was little. I don't know. I know it's the anxiety messing with my brain. I read this yesterday. My mom sent it to me. It sounds EXACTLY like me. But it doesn't make the thoughts any less sad or scary to me right now. I'm still "in it" right now. It was only about 20 minutes ago I had the thought. I know once it passes I will be fine. It will pass and I will go about my business and enjoy life. But when that thought is stuck it seems like it's all I can do but be in it and be scared and sad. But the blogging really does help. It helps to get it out and write what I'm feeling. I'm watching tv right now and getting ready to cut out some stuff for school. I have water bottles in the sink that I need to label with student's names. It's helping to focus on those things and be distracted from it. I know it will go away. I just have to ride it out. It's not forever. It's just going to take time.

Is there a word that means more than overwhelmed?

If so it would perfectly describe me right now. School starts a week from today and I'm in full crazy pants mode. Working my ass off to get "everything" ready before I have students. I say "everything" because there is no way any human being on the face of the earth could get EVERYTHING done before kids come. It's just not possible. You can get enough done. Enough to survive and figure out the rest. And the rest lasts forever. You are never, ever DONE. So yeah. I'm doing what I do every year. Freaking out while trying to remind myself that it's okay to start a little unprepared. No one will die.

I am also feeling slightly stressed out by wedding planning. I know we JUST got engaged and aren't getting married for a year and there's no rush. But we found a wedding venue we reeeeally like and before we can book it we have to make sure we can afford it. And before we make sure we can afford it we have to know how much we're going to spend on other things. And we have to call people and research and email to figure out how much things cost. So yeah. I'm trying to do too much. But on the bright side we have thought of many ways to save money including being our own DJ, ordering flowers at wholesale and doing the arrangements ourselves, getting a small cake for cutting and a sheet cake for serving (possibly from my friends aunt), and finding an inexpensive photographer (possibly from my friends church). So we're making progress. It's just hard to do at the same time you are getting a classroom ready in a new school, new grade, and new town!

And unfortunately I still can't seem to shake this anxiety. The past couple of days I've been plagued by scary, sad, and worrisome thoughts. I've been working really hard to fight them off. Perhaps too hard and that's why they won't go away. I was so bothered today I called Kim and left a message asking for an appointment and telling her I was considering going back on Lexapro. I've calmed down a bit since then and thought more. I think I jumped the gun on the whole gimme the drugs. I though about how I haven't blogged or exercised in awhile. Both things that help me be less anxious. I've also got a lot going on right now which can cause anxiety. I guess it's understandable. I had a helpful reminder today from a website my mom emailed me that anxiety plays tricks with your mind. These worries are just thoughts. They aren't going to happen. It doesn't mean there's more wrong with you or you're never going to get better or you're not the same person. Which are all things I've been thinking. I guess I just need a reality check/wake-up call every now and then. I'm feeling better now than I have all day. I'm getting my blog on, having a beer, and relaxing with my amazing fiance. Letting the stress and the worry go right now. Something I need to do more often!

Fresh Start

Today was my first day of New Staff Academy for my new teaching job and it could not have gone better. You could immediately sense during breakfast this morning how warm and welcoming my new district is. Every one was so kind and upbeat. All of the principals went around and introduced their new staff. And it wasn't just like, "Oh this is Sarah and she's teaching 3rd grade." It was a real introduction. Like your principal really knew you and you were being welcomed into the family with open arms. "This is Sarah Moore. She'll be teaching 3rd grade. She's from Lawrence. She graduated from KU. She has 3 years experience, and she recently got engaged!" How nice is that? The administrators talked about how there is no competition between schools. Everyone cares as much about the school down the road succeeding as they do their own. Principals led orientations on curriculum and instruction with as much knowledge and confidence as a veteran teacher/learning coach. I was super impressed. People joked and laughed and teased all day. It was fun! When I was working in my room the other day several teachers stopped by to introduce themselves and welcome me. All of them offered help if I needed anything. 

I never felt this level of warmth and friendliness while working in Lawrence. Sure my close friends from Kennedy were fantastic and I love them. But I never felt that during professional development or district meetings. There certainly was no sense of community among the schools. It was obvious there was competition.

I just feel so grateful for this new position. My district has a strong reputation for being one of the best in Kansas. Teaching jobs there are highly sought after. This year they had almost 800 applicants and only hired 30 or so new employees. I have high hopes for a bright future and a great time while working for Auburn Washburn. Feeling good and loving the possibilities. :o)

Summer Illness Sucks

Brian and I are sick. I'm sure it's from the drastic temperature changes we underwent going from home, to Montana, to back home. High in Glacier: 70. High in Lawrence: 93. Plus probably being on airplanes with nasty, germy people. I started feeling sick the day after we got back. Sore throat, headache, stuffy nose. Brian was feeling it yesterday. I'm doing a little better today, but Brian is worse. We've layed around all day and done practically nothing. I managed to get a little cleaning done. We are having people over tomorrow and I was not comfortable with having friends in our house in it's current state. I made some brownies using AB's cocoa brownie recipe. They turned out pretty good and will be gone before tomorrow I'm sure. I have had 2 and Brian has had a bite pretty much every time he's entered the kitchen. So yeah. They're half gone.

I'm hoping we're both feeling better by tomorrow. I want to hit up the farmer's market in the morning and get some yummy, fresh goodies to cook with next week. On a related not I also really want to go get our plants back. A friend of Brian's from work watched them for us while we are on vacation. We were going to get them sooner, but we got sick. I miss my tomatoes, peppers, onions and spices. I feel like a neglectful plant mother. I'm hoping we can do that tomorrow as well. I would also like to run to Walmart and get some things for my classroom. I really need some clear plastic tubs to use to organize my classroom library. They also have some great dorm stuff right now I would like to get for my reading area. Cool, fuzzy colored rugs and pillows and bean bag chairs. Starting next week I will be hitting it hard getting ready for the year. Working on my room, orientations, meetings and such.

Tomorrow evening we are having friends from KC over for a pre-engagement party, party. We're planning on going out to The Sandbar to celebrate. I also messaged some of my girls to see if they would come. I hope they do. I haven't seen them in forever and I miss them. Plus I want to show my ring off. ;o)

A couple of our boxes came back today! We shipped our camping gear to our friend Brett in Montana before our trip and shipped it back to ourselves when we left. One of the boxes contained a really cool Glacier National Park poster we bought while we were there. Luckily it was one of the boxes that came today! Here's a picture of it hanging on our living room wall. I think it looks great!

Ooooh! Fun and pretty!

I got bored and started fiddling around with my blog this afternoon. Sure I should have been uploading pictures from vacation, working on classroom stuff or cleaning the house, but meh, who cares? I think it looks pretty cool now! I didn't do anything too fancy. I just starting messing with settings I hadn't really messed with. It's not terribly personalized or amazing, but I like it for now.

I've been going through the pictures from vacation to upload to facebook. It is a TASK! I got rid of a few that were blurry or crooked or just looked bad. We still have 1,051. Yeesh. Here's one I came across that I forgot about that is really pretty!

I love how you can see the sun shining through the clouds. So beautiful!

Feeling Frustrated

So I've been doing really well since going off Lexapro for my anxiety. I haven't had any problems except for a couple of days before I start my period. I noticed this happened last month and again this month. I talked to Kim about it the other day and she suggested talking to my doctor about  switching birth control pills. I thought this seemed like a good, logical idea. I went to my doctor today for a physical for work and I wasn't very happy with what she had to say. Her suggestion was to not switch my birth control because it might mess up my cycle, give me cramps, and cause trouble with acne. She thought it would be a good idea to prescribe me Prozac to take just during the week before my period. I was NOT happy to hear this. I thought that she would be totally on board with switching my birth control. It seemed like the next logical step. Prozac seems drastic. I asked a lot of questions. I had a hard time when I first started Lexapro waiting for it to build up in my system. It made me feel weird and I don't want to feel that way again. I guess there is a possibility it could, but if that's the case then I don't have to take it. She wrote me a prescription for 20mg for 30 days. She wants me to try it during my next cycle and see if it helps. I called Brian, my mom, my friends, and Kim to get their opinion. Mixed reviews, but most say I should give it a try. I know that if I don't like it and it doesn't help I can look into switching birth control or something else. I just really don't want to be on anything, you know? And honestly these past 2 times I've had anxiety before my period sucked major bad while they were happening, but I got over it. I'm feeling great now. Aside from the stuffy nose and sore throat that I have recently acquired. I'm just feeling really frustrated with the whole situation. I guess the best thing I can do now is not think about it or worry about it until next month and only if I need it.

Gettin' Engaged in Glacier!

I'm back! As promised. And ready to share the story and pictures from when Brian popped the question as well as some pictures of the beautiful scenery we were so lucky to see! So first things first: The ring!

Not the greatest picture, but isn't it pretty?!? It's absolutely perfect! 1/2 a carat, solitaire, princess cut, white gold band. It was a little tight at first because my fingers were swollen from hiking, but now I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning.

It was July 20th, our 6th day at the park and our 3rd day at our second campsite at Rising Sun. We were going on a hike starting from Sun Point to see 3 waterfalls: Baring Falls, St. Mary Falls, and Virginia Falls. It was pretty dreary that day and and rained off an on. It was also kind of windy and cold. But I figured it would be worth it to have a nice hike and see some beautiful waterfalls. I had know clue what was about to happen.

We hiked along the trail and stopped at Baring Falls first. It was pretty cool, but kind of small so we didn't stay long. Here's a picture:

Nerves of steel that boy has. Who would have known he was an hour away from proposing. 

We hiked on and soon we approached St. Mary falls which was much larger and more impressive. Here's a picture of it! 

See what I mean? Gorgeous huh? 

As we took in the beauty of the falls and snapped a few pictures Brian suggested we sit for awhile on a nearby rock and enjoy the view. I agreed and scooted up beside him. He rested his head on my shoulder as he said, "I'm just going to put my head right here." I said, "okay," as I reached up to put my finger on the dimple on his chin like I often do. I said, "I'm just going to touch "my spot."" Right after I said this Brian reached into his pocket and pulled out this: 

He said, "How would you like it to be your spot forever?" At this point I was starting to think something big was about to happen, but was still very confused. I kept trying to ask, "What are you doing?" But all that would come out was, "Wah...wah...wah..." Brian pulled out the most beautiful ring I've ever seen from the bag and said, "Sarah Michelle Moore, will you marry me?" I finally able to speak and I spat out, "Are you serious right now?!?" Brian replied, "Yeah I'm serious!" And then I said, "Yes! Of course!" He put the ring on my finger and I bawled my eyes out.

We were able to ask a guy nearby to take our picture on the rock:

Not the most flattering photo, but who the hell cares?! 

Afterward we decided to skip the third waterfall and hike back. We were hungry and had to pee and we had just gotten freakin' engaged! I was so excited! I wanted to tell my mom and Kaleigh ASAP. Which wasn't very soon seeing as we had NO cell service. I was so excited to tell SOMEONE that I ended up telling the older couple camping across from us on the hike back! It was pretty funny! 

For the rest of the day I did a lot of this: 

And this.....

And this.....

And lets face it I'm still doing a lot of this.

Later that day I used a calling card to call my mom and Kaleigh from a pay phone to tell them the good news. Brian got both on video. Maybe I'll share those later. 

His proposal was everything I could of dreamed of. I was completely surprised, he asked me in front of a  beautiful waterfall, and I had no way to call anyone or Facebook right away. I was completely in the moment. 

Now we're back home and I've got wedding on the brain. I've been looking at The Knot and magazines getting all sorts of ideas. I even found a picture of a dress I like and want to try on! I know we've got awhile before we need to start working on wedding stuff. I really don't want to rush through our engagement, but I think we're looking at next August maybe. I'm sure you will read all about it on here! 

I will post more pictures of Glacier later, but I'd like to leave you with, what I think, is the prettiest one. 

Isn't the reflection on the water breath-taking? 

Back home with BIG news and time to get busy!

Greetings everyone from the comfort of MY bed! It is so good to be home. Brian and I had an amazing time at Glacier National Park! I will look back on this trip forever as my favorite vacation because.....I'M ENGAGED! That's right. Brian popped the question while we were on our trip. I plan on doing a whole post about it, but lets just say I was very surprised. There were lots of tears, and of course I said yes!


Although the scenery at the park was beautiful (there will be a post with pictures) and I had a fantastic time I am soooo glad to be home. 2 weeks is an awful long time to be away. Today will be about relaxing and catching up on a few house  things, but after that it's going to be BIZ-EEE! I have dentist and doctors appointments all this week. Gotta get that stuff taken care of before school starts! Then next week I will be going to new staff academy and working on my room. The week after will be more back to school meetings, and then it will be time for school to start! Whew! This summer has gone by fast. It seems just like yesterday I was stressing about finding a job and worrying I wouldn't be able to enjoy my summer. Now here we are at the end and it's been great!

I'll be back later today with the engagement post and Glacier pictures! See you then!

Meet Me in Montana

We're leaving for Montana tomorrow! I think I'll wear my  hair like Marie. Looks good don't it? Our flight is at noon and we'll have a lay over in Vegas for FOUR HOURS! Oh what will we do???

Mmmmhmmmmm! Yeah right...Gambling makes me nervous and I'm broke so....maybe I will window shop.

After our lay over we fly to Missoula. We're staying with Brian's friend Brett our first night. He has a mastiff! I'm excited to play with the doggy. Then Thursday morning we'll get in our rental car and go to the store to get our food then head to our first campsite! We'll be camping at Lake McDonald for 4 days then move to Many Glaciers for another 4 days. Then we'll be headed up the Prince of Whales hotel in Waterton, Canada! Super excited about this! Look how beautiful it is!

After a couple of nights here we'll be headed back to Brett's for 2 days then fly back home! I'm really excited. Brian and I are going to have such a great time. I have to admit I am a little nervous. I've never been camping for this long before and I hope I can hack it. There's still snow in some parts of the park and you know how I feel about winter,  but it shouldn't be too bad.

We'll take lots of picture so expect a big post when I get back. See you in 2 weeks! :o)

My my how time flies!

Brian and I are headed to Illinois this weekend to celebrate my God daughter, Reygan's 2nd birthday. I can't believe she's already 2! It seems like it was just yesterday I was out there for her birth. And now she's a big sister and growing up so fast. She's so super smart. She already knows all of her colors and shapes. It's cause her mommy and daddy are super smart and teach her lots. Here's a picture of Reygan and I the day after she was born.

And here's one of Reygan now with baby brother Jackson!

Pump the brakes! Maybe...

I've been feeling very conflicted the past few weeks. I feel like summer is FLYING by. Last weekend was the 4th of July and it feels like school just got out yesterday. We are going to Illinois this weekend for Reygan's birthday then off to Montana shortly after we get back. Part of me is like, "Slow the hell down, summer!" But then another part of me is feeling good about it going by fast. I think I've decided next summer I will be getting some sort of job. I feel like I have waaaay too much down time. It makes for a lot of boredom, and at times worry. I took my last Lexapro probably 3 weeks ago and since then it's been a roller coaster. Not an adult, big roller coaster, but at least a little one. Like at Camp Snoopy. For the first couple of weeks I had a lot of trouble with dizziness and weird heart flutters. I was weepy and worried I would feel bad again. Then most of last week was wonderful. The dizziness went away. I felt like myself again. Then things started feeling off again. I had a little panic attack one evening. I was excited to go celebrate the 4th with my family, but at the same time felt worried I was going to have negative emotions again. My therapist had said that if I felt persistent emotions that are not reflective of my environment I should take that as a sign I may need to go back on medication. I don't feel like that is the case. I would say 90% of the time everything is great. Then every now and then I feel a sense of sadness and worry that I'm not going to feel good. That I'm going to have anxiety. Or that I'm going to feel sad during a time I should feel happy. And then worrying and ruminating about it makes me frustrated. Sometimes it's a sadness that life is different now. Don't get me wrong I'm super happy with the life I have with Brian and my family and friends. But going to my parent's house; home doesn't feel like home anymore. This summer hasn't felt like summer to me. I wasn't as excited about the 4th of July as I usually get. Maybe it's just changing and getting older and life is going in a different direction. A good direction. But it's foreign, because it's new. It doesn't mean that I've lost my spark or my happiness. That I have a mental issue. It's just a new chapter and I need to embrace it.


I have so much to look forward to these next few weeks. Like I said we're going to Illinois then Montana. It's going to so fun. I get to see my best friends and my God daughter and her little brother. Then spend some quality time with the love of my life in a beautiful setting. No sense in ruining all that with worries of feeling bad when it is absolutely not going to happen. I need to remember to shake those negative thoughts whenever they pop up. I know that they tend to come around when I'm by myself or don't have much to occupy my time. If I know that then I should use my strategies to help. I can do it. I've done it before and I will get to a point where it is easier and I won't have to do it as often. I just have to keep working at it.

Technology makes me fussy....

Or rather technology makes me fussy when it doesn't work how I want it to! So I recently got an iphone. It's an iphone 3 and I got it used from my sister. Nothing too exciting. But I didn't have to pay for it! I haven't really done anything too fancy on it. Not even uploaded my music. I have an ipod. It works just fine for music. Well at least it did. Yesterday I got my ipod out of my purse to upload some recent itunes purchases. When I pulled it out of my purse I discovered that it was starting to come apart a little around the the top. You know? Where the white face meets the silver back. So I tried to push it back together hoping it would just click in place. It clicked alright. Or should I say cracked? My video ipod (that I have had for like 5 years) now has a rainbow swirly all over the screen. I would take a picture to show you but it's in the back room where Brian is playing WOW and I was already fussy with him due to my technology frustrations so I'm just gonna let him be.

Anyway. Since my ipod is temporarily crapped out(I say temporarily because Brian says it will still work we just need to buy a new screen) I decided now would be a good time to put music on my iphone. Easier said than done.


A couple of years ago when I got a new laptop I had to transfer my itunes library to my new computer, and things did not exactly work out. There were a few songs and playlists that did not make the switch. For whatever reason ( I think it was because they were songs my sister had burned for me which she probably downloaded from napster or something sketch like that) these few songs will not play on my new laptop. It says that itunes can't find the file. So the only place I can listen to them is on my ipod. Which is now broken. Still following? Since the songs are not in my itunes library anymore I can not upload them on my iphone. Not only can I not upload those few songs, I can't upload my whole library because it's too big. My video ipod has plenty of room. iphone is too small.

What's a girl to do? Well my hero, geeky, boyfriend Brian showed up just in time yesterday to come to my aid. He was able to plug my ipod into his computer and put my music on our external hard drive. Awesome, right? So today I was able to put the "lost stuff" back into my itunes. However, when I tried to upload the "lost stuff" playlist onto my iphone things got complicated. The playlist would not show up, but some of my songs did. Several are not on there. Brian tried to help explain to me how to go about synching your music with your iphone, but none of it made sense and I got fussy. I mean real fussy. Why does apple have to make it so complicated?!? I just want the music I want on my iphone! Or my ipod to be fixed. Whichever comes first.

I still don't have every thing I want on my iphone. I gave up. I figured good enough for listening to on our road trip next weekend, plane trip in 2 weeks, and on vacation. Who knows, maybe I can have a new screen by then.

It's times like this that make me miss CD's and my Disc- man. Or even cassette tapes! At least I could touch my music and knew where it was! Not just floating around in cyberspace.....I think I need a snack and to go to bed...:o/

I want to ride my bicycle..AKA DANG!

Well for my first day back on Livestrong.com yesterday went okay. I kept within my calorie allowance and even burned some playing on the Kinect in the afternoon. I kinda messed up in the evening when Brian and I went to 3 spoons. I had enough calories for frozen yogurt but when I added sliced strawberries, dark chocolate chips, and a teeny bit of hot fudge to my  cup of chocolate vanilla swirl I went over by like 100. Whoops! Brian said it was okay and pretty good for my first day.

Today I decided to go on a bike ride after breakfast for some exercise. It was...interesting...I headed over to the Prairie Park Nature Trail again and went all the way around that. When I was coming back home I had a little trouble at the stop lights at 23rd and Harper and 23rd and Haskell. Stupid things wouldn't change so I could go across the crosswalk! Waited for like 5 light cycles at each intersection before I said screw it and went south down Haskell to get on the bike trail. Took that up to 15th and then back down Haskell, then 19th, then home. I calculated the miles using google maps. 9.4 miles! Took me 95 minutes. I put it in livestrong as leisure bicycling (under 10 mph) and it says I burned 618 calories! Woo-hoo!

Now I'm really hungry. I think I'll fix lunch here soon. Thinking about going to the pool today. We'll see. That place is always crawling with kids I know. Wish I had a small, less crowded pool to go to. I need to find a friend with one!

Too much booty in the pants.

I just returned from spending a lovely weekend in Hutchinson, Kansas for my good friend, Katie's wedding. It was wonderful. I had a great time hanging out with Katie and was so happy to be apart of her day. She looked beautiful and I know that she and Louie will be so happy together!

Now returning home? Not as happy. I've been feeling....let's say....like a FAT ASS lately. Super chubs. Chunky monkey. Too much junk in the trunk. My badonk is outta control. And not just my badonk. My belly, hips, thighs, arms, FACE! Even my face feels fat. So last night when I went to the bathroom I decided to step on the scale and lo and behold I'm back to the weight I was before I lost a few lbs earlier this year. So crap. It comes as no surprise. I've been eating like a pig lately. But this chunk is not welcome. It cannot stay. I've got to do something about it!

But the doing something is the hard part. As far as the exercise goes I have plenty of time. Hello?? Teacher. Not working 'til August! I did go to Dog Days a couple of times. But I have to get up at 5:30!!!! LIKE IN THE MORNING. That's too early for me in the summer time. So that's an obstacle. I just have to exercise on my own at a more reasonable hour. But then the question is, what do I do? I have a bike. I like to bike. That's an option. Running is out. I don't move quickly unless something is chasing me. We have a Kinect and a pretty fun dance game. There's a idea. Or I could go over to our "gym" at our apartment. Swimming is an option too. Okay...so I guess I got exercise figured out.

Now the eating. Man I love eating. I love food. I love tasty food. I love to cook and eat and be full and happy. I know I can still eat and be full and happy while trying to lose weight. I just need to make better choices. That's not hard. I know what's good and what's bad. It's just that the bad is sooooo yummy! I have a LIVESTRONG.com account that I started using a few months ago. I have not kept up. I can use it to track my calories and make sure I'm being smart. I just need to stick with it.

And then there's Brian who should win the award for most supportive boyfriend EVER! He thinks I'm pretty even if I feel like a beached whale. He tells me he'll do whatever I need him to while I try to remove some booty. AND he's super nice about it. He asked what he should say to help me not cheat with out being bossy. Gosh I love him.

I know I've had a blog like this before with all my grand weight loss plans that puttered out when things got rocky and I got distracted. But things are not rocky now. Things are the opposite of rocky. Smooth sailing. Great boyfriend, great family, great friends, great new job. Not too many distractions. I can stick with it. Here I go!

30 Day Challenge

I know that it seems I have abandoned my 30 Day Challenge I started at the beginning of this month, but I swear I've been doing new recipes! Just doing a crappy job of blogging about them. I've been a little preoccupied. Got a new job, moving stuff into my new classroom, prepping for the bajilllion trips we're taking this summer, and reeling from Lexapro DTs :p. I think I will do a massive food blog come here soon with the recipes I've done. When I get around to it....

Right now, this is what I'm doing:

Tonight my mom is coming over with my dad's truck so we can load it and Brian's truck up with my classroom stuff to be brought to it's new home tomorrow. I'm staying over at my folks and going to fill out paperwork at the district office in the morning. Then Brian will head to town after his work meeting to help me unload in the afternoon.

Friday we leave for Hutch for Katie and Louie's wedding. It should be a fun weekend.
Dang they look good!

Next weekend is  4th of July--party at Chris and Jess's.

Last year (obviously)

The following weekend is little Miss Reygan's birthday which should be outstanding!
She's so cute!

THEN! When we get back from Illinois we leave for Montana for 2 weeks of camping at Glacier!
Me and my super hot camping buddy!
Good God! Summer is going to go by so fast. At least it's all fun stuff. In the next few weeks I plan to use my weekday afternoons to work on classroom stuff. Should keep me plenty occupied. Then eventually I will hit you with my 30 day challenge recipes!